The Bears had Seoul but no offense…

The Doosan Bears from Seoul had a tough outing last night. Despite excellent pitching, quality defense, not to mention an exuberant and loyal fanbase, they succumbed to a 2-1 deficit at their home park. Even concession items like dried squid jerky and Soju (Korean firewater) could not awaken their lugubrious bats. In a key moment in the top of the fourth, with runners on 1st and 2nd and only one out, two brave American fans willed the starting pitcher to hang tough. A short pop up to center, followed by a five pitch backwards K ended the inning with section 101 lauding the vociferous and perhaps inebriated foreigners with accolades for their unwavering spirit and defiant leadership.

Get ’em next time Bears…

Back to Kuala Lumpur

Back in a big city, with the end of our trip in sight, emotions occasionally yearn for home, with correlating enthusiasm for the city’ attractions. The museum the guide book only gave one star isn’t the quick seven subway stops and a short bus transfer it was three weeks ago. Similar to Cathedral and Castle fatigue that plagues Europe’s most fervent tourists, our museum muscle, the one near where you always rest your hands on your lower back above your hips, starts to wear out earlier and earlier in the day. It wakes up sorer and sorer every morning.

Our hostel is four blocks from the hotel we stayed at when we pit stopped here on the way to Singapore, but it’s a world away. I want to be careful not to drawn too many conclusions or generalizations from our brief stay in several cities, but thus far, Singapore, KL, Bangkok and Dubai seem to have two worlds living on top of one another. Major urban landscapes and accompanying niceties supported by massive service industry employed populations. The stark contrast is often jarring, but is clear as day in a view from any tall building.

In the morning we decided to see the Islamic Arts Museum and the National Mosque. On the cross town journey there, we made it 80% of the way via public transportation before the heat and honest confusion of the city’s streets got to us. Delaying an inevitable meltdown, we splurged for a 13 ringit ($4) cab ride, were the driver made 11 turns on a 10 minute trip that went two kilometers. Not pedestrian friendly.

Despite an auspicious start to the day, the museum was fantastic and held a wealth of objects from several Islamic cultures throughout history from the conquering Mongols to the oft conquered Malays. Alex was in heaven given her academic training, and I had fun too. We even had a great Middle Eastern meal between Chinese Islamic porcelain and Ottoman weaponry.

The mosque was interesting as well as it was modern (built in ’67).

Next we strolled through a large city park and caught an orchid garden, choosing to skip the worlds largest open air aviary, given Alex’s distaste for all winged animals.

At dusk, we headed to Kuala Lumpur City Center to enjoy drinks while watching the sun set on the Petronas Towers.

Dinner was, where else, in the mall…

The next day, we woke up and headed to a delicious dim sum…in a different mall.

Alex then went shopping for gifts for people back home. I hopped on the subway and caught a glimpse of four little circles on the Frommers Guide to Southeast Asia Kuala Lumpur map. I sometimes am stricken with FOMO (fear of missing out) and feel anxious until I check the tourist boxes, what can I say. Of note, was the oldest mosque in KL, a really tall flagpole, and central market, which is another %#^*&$@ing mall except it’s for local artisans.

I even bought some stuff. Feeling cured of FOMO, I then met Alex back at a third mall (not kidding) for a screening of Men in Black 3, which is horrendously awesome. We saw a movie in Dubai as well (The Avengers) and it’s nice to know the escapism of the summer blockbuster works abroad as well. This time it only cost 10 bucks for two tickets, two sodas, and a mixed caramel and salted popcorn.

Next stop, Seoul…

Ubud… Spoiler Alert!!! Snake!!!!!!

Ubud (Pronounced like EW-bood) is a tropical yet culturally reflective town at the center of Bali. If that sounds like a little BS, that’s because it is. There’s no beach, so they make up for it with spiritually. Its one of those places where the crafts are all hand made (at one point we physically confirmed this) but they also all look the same. Silver crafts made by jailed ex-pat cocaine smugglers on death row, wooden carved masks, batik sarongs for days… etc. But here’s the good news. The people are friendly, the food is great, it’s close to several great day trips, and it’s quite affordable.

We did a home stay in Ubud, living in a spare room with a wealthy family with lots of kids from toddlers to teenagers. As we were in and out each day, they scanned us with supreme indifference, raising their gaze slightly before refocusing their attention back to video games. “Have fun with the monkeys dudes, I’ll be chilling in the AC on the couch.” For the record, while we saw several monkeys, under no circumstances did we consider entering the monkey forest.

As the only Hindu majority island in largely Muslim Indonesia, Bali does not take their temples lightly. We spent much of the first day reviewing two, while taking a short hike through a rice paddy. Gorgeous scenery.

Swatting a pesky mosquito… Action shot… Really capturing the drama here.

Two massages, a bottle of Bali wine before dinner, and day one was complete. Bali bliss.

The second day started at 2:30 AM, when we woke up to head to the base of Mount Batur, the smaller of the two largest active volanoes in Bali. Beginning our ascent with a trusty 23 year old guide, Kadek, who spoke little English, we summited before sunrise…

We then hiked along the crater to check out the steam pockets rising from the earth. Each time, Kadek reminded us we could use the steam pockets to cook an egg or a banana, if say, we happened to have some handy. We did not, to Alex’s disappointment.

Then we checked out some holy water springs which were really co— SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNAKE!!!!!!!! SNAKE!!!!!!!!

Here’s the thing. It’s not the site of snakes that bother me. It’s when another group’s guide screams “SNAKE!!!!!!!!” and then points at me. I find that off-putting. I quickly scan the ground for a death cobra. No death cobra present. Still not moving, I notice the guide (now wielding a small lava rock) is looking at a vegetated wall behind me. I face my certain death and slowly turn around, assuming the death cobra will wait to strike me someplace gross, like in the eyeball. Ugh, that’s the worst. I turn, accepting my fate, but no serpent looms. At this point, I realize I might have a chance at surviving. I start to slowly back away from the wall and it’s precarious foliage, desperately scanning my eyes for the sinister brown monster that lurks in my adrenaline blinded vision, when Thud!

I flinch, but feel no bite from a jumping death cobra lunging for me. Nope, it’s just the other guide screaming “snake, very poisonous” throwing lava rocks at the wall using my tender flesh as the first line of human defense. Terrific. I am so pissed. Clarity somewhat restored, I reason he is trying to knock the snake (which I still can’t see) down from the wall so it angrily bites my foot, as opposed to un-angrily doing nothing at chest level. When he tries to throw a second larger rock, that zips just past my head, we share words. Despite, little language in common, he sees my side of the discussion, after I present an unbiased well articulated and logical construct. I may have suggested he would suffer a fate similar to the aforementioned egg and banana… Hard to recall.

Anyways, unclear whether the second lava rock knocked the snake down to the ground or whether it was there the whole time, but I finally found it.

Green???? I was looking for brown! No wonder I missed it. No one told me death cobras can be green! And as you can plainly see in the photo provided this one had clearly just consumed at least one hiker and was at least 12 feet.

In all seriousness it was a beautiful creature and I’m glad I saw it. Showing the picture to a local I confirmed the species name: “green snake, very poisonous”

The rest of the hike down was uneventful, save for the fact that I now had to look at all times in the path and rocks for brown death cobras and on the tropical shrubbery for green death cobras.

We were chaperoned on our day trip by our home stay’s private driver, so next he took us to a coffee plantation. I know nothing about coffee but when the plantation guide told us some people called his coffee “poop coffee,” we were very suspect. Turns out, there is a rodent, locally called the luwak, that is highly selective in it’s diet, eating only perfect red coffee berries. Special enzymes in it’s digestive process then help ferment the undigestible beans. So basically these farmers run around the forest scooping up luwak poop and then cleaning and extracting the intact beans from it to make the world’s best coffee, for $5 dollars a cup! Cue the story about the time Jesse paid 50,000 rupiah to drink luwak poop coffee. Its turkish style with the sludge in the bottom. We also tried all their other non-poop coffee and teas.

Next stop, temple of the holy water. Our host family gave us outfits. We were supposed to bathe in the water, but we felt it was a little crowded and we didn’t want to be too offensive to the local populous.

One more rice paddy… Great terracing…Then home to collapse.

Medicating with massages and special Bali crispy duck for lunch!

Next stop, black sand beaches of Lovina.

Bali Bliss? (Seminyak)

Arriving in Bali, we had our hearts and minds open and ready for tranquility. First stop Seminyak, the “East Hampton of Bali,” ritzy, but not over developed, located on the southwest portion of the island. Just changing the remnants of our Singapore dollars made me a rupiah millionaire!

This of course made us perfect marks. We began by taking a taxi ride to our villa and only overpaid by 600% (deftly negotiated on my part down from 800%). We’re talking spending $35 on something that should have cost ~$5-7, so not a crisis, but I hate being ripped off and worse having it be my own stupidity. Nevertheless, we arrived at our gorgeous villa,…

…jumped in our private pool to rinse off the incompetence and headed out to explore the beach on a rented motorbike. We strolled on the sand and found a beautiful spot for lunch.

The island bliss didn’t last long. Low on gas, we spent a harrowing 1.5 hour 2 km commute through local traffic to find gas for the nearly empty running on prayers and fumes bike. The ride made Phuket feel like a theme park. I went the “wrong way” according to local traffic police three times, and at one point considered simply lifting the machine over a median rather than attempt a U-turn. Sitting wedged between a cement truck and a van and 10 other motorbikes at a “stop light” in bumper to bumper grid lock on searing asphalt was not the Bali we were ready for. Visions of losing control of the bike into open sewage drains caused mental fatigue. Frayed and exhausted we arrived back at the villa only to realize our power was out. After a brief moment of primal scream therapy, we decided to nap, whereupon by rule of island vacation everything would return to wonderfulness.

We woke up reenergized, but oddly the house didn’t also run on afternoon naps, so we dressed in the dark. Deciding we’d had enough fun on the motorbike, we walked to a beautiful beach side bar and restaurant called Ku De Ta, that was excellent. The two mile walk into and through town gave us a chance to see all the local shops and night spots.

After a great night out, we caught a taxi home for only double the going rate and thankfully the power was back on. Order in the Bali universe was restored!

The next day after some errands, we found a really great spot for brunch, with a great view.

We then split up activities for the afternoon. I dropped Alex off on the main drag to check out the “batik boutiques” along with other clothing stores/art galleries we saw the night prior. I then hit the surf to get stoked brah! My surfing lesson from requisite local Indonesian surfer dude who also sold beer and beach trinkets went swimmingly and I actually rode a couple waves. No photos but imagine a baby giraffe on a surf board. Exhausted and saturated with saltwater, I hurried back to the Villa to enjoy a quick dip in the pool before the night’s planned activities. I learned Alex’s expedition was unsuccessful in the sense that she didn’t buy anything, but in her defense she did go to 25 stores and opted out of a 27 million rupiah dress.

For sunset, we went to a temple in Uluwatu set along steep cliffs that drop into the Indian Ocean. See photos. Those hot yellow belts were to pay our respects.

Next we headed to Jimbaran, for a beach side seafood dinner. A bit pricey and touristy, but dang if they didn’t know how to grill great seafood. Great char-broiled flavor mixed with Indonesian kick.

All in all, for the first two days in Bali, there were all the highs and lows you’d expect with “new place for us” exploration, but by the end we felt we got the joke and were ready to continue on.

Next stop, wreck and reef diving in Tulamben!

Say Cheesecake!

We were about to head to the Raffles Hotel for Singapore Slings when a knock came at our Hilton hotel room door…

It’s easier to travel the world when you have love and support that reminds you where home is… Cheesy, but hey, it’s cheesecake.

Huge thanks to Sarah, Arch, and Jack as well as everyone else that sent nice messages.

Ps. Alex will write the update on KL and Singapore. Both had too many shopping malls for me to think or write coherently, but we’ve had a blast.

Talk to you on the flipside

Penang-licious

On Monday we woke up, reapplied aloe, and took the two hour ferry from Ko Phi Don to Phuket. A quick van taxi, expensive airport sandwich (Subway, you and I will be having a word when we get back…), and short flight and we arrived in Penang.

Self titled “The Pearl of the Orient,” Penang should be called “Southeast Asia’s Defenseless Food Court.”

Originally a large trading port, it has been taken over without conflict twice by the British (once via the East India Trading Company, and a second time in WWII). The Japanese also took it over for four years from 1941-1945 again without conflict and weren’t very nice to put it mildly. Also somehow Muslim Indians got here too (spice trade and persecution the most likely carrot and stick). So between Colonial Imperialists, Indian Muslims, Chinese Buddhists (also coming through trade) and original Malay influences, you’re talking great food!

Other variables factor in to help the cuisine: Accessibility to great produce, and a tropical dry/wet season climates where diverse and flavorful spices can grow.

After arriving in the afternoon, a cab driver, Adi, along with his rambunctious “THREE AND A HAFFFFFFFFFTTTTBBBBBHHHHHH [wiping spit off my face]” year old monster child son, Amir, took us on a driving tour to get our bearings in Georgetown, the cultural and government center of Penang.

Georgetown in Penang is the exact opposite of Georgetown in Washington DC, with the exception that there’s no subway and on a hot humid day, walking around quickly exhausts you if you don’t find AC.

To say Adi was informed on the local whereabouts would be akin to suggesting Penang is not far from Miami. “This is…. Ancient building.” However, when it came to knowing great spots to eat Adi and his atypical for the region large stomach did not disappoint.

We bid adieu to Adi and ate a meal in little India that was insanely good. My mango lassi was worth savoring but I only realized this five seconds after I began drinking it which was three seconds too late. We enjoyed Dhal, naan, raita, tandori chicken, and chicken biryani. all for about 32 ringit (10 bucks).

After dinner, in slightly cooler night temperatures, we walked around the Colonial town, hearing the Muslim call to prayer and noting the quiet absence of drunk recent graduates that stick to Thailand.

The first night we stayed in an apartment that I lined up through airbnb.com, a sort of eBay for spare rooms throughout the world. Although our place did have a nice pool and decent views from the living room, the lack of AC and small confinement proved challenging. In short, we sweat for eight hours which meant a long sleepless night listening to Florence and the Machine for one of us. The other slept like a baby, meaning woke up every hour tossing and turning, convinced the untied window curtain strap was a death cobra sneaking it’s way into the bedroom through the open window (of course they can slither up 15 floors!).

Rising early, we had a extremely productive day. We completed an entire walking tour of Georgetown including Fort Cornwallis, a very ironic building given Penang’s history. Originally Penang agreed to cede control to the East India Trading company in exchange for $6000 in rent and protection from constantly raiding enemies. The British counter offer was “How about instead we just take over thanks.” They setup Fort Cornwallis but then never put up a fight when the Japanese came.

We then strolled past Colonial edifices, like Town Hall, City Hall and the Supreme Court Building and headed to the Penang Museum, which was filled with terrific artifacts, clean bathrooms and AC. After seeing our fill of Colonial architecture and churches (including the first Anglican church in Southeast Asia), we headed to the Eastern and Oriental (E&O), the infamous hotel run by the Sarkies bros. For those not in the know the Sarkies brothers ran the Raffles in Singapore. Lavish more than savvy, they of course ran the whole thing into the ground. Its one of those places where you walk in and wish you were in a sport coat, sipping a champagne cocktail, while a doorman wheeled your recently purchased eastern Asian artifacts to be shipped back to your estate. Instead we were in t-shirts, sweating profusely and couldn’t afford the suite only rooms. Again clean bathroom, AC, and amazing view of the Malaysian Strait. But guess what we could afford…. Bingo! The all you can eat Sarkies lunch buffet! Words cannot describe. Every single type of Asian food ever.

One example in detail. There was something called ice kacing, which I later saw offered in food stalls spelled “ais kasing”

Here’s the exchange:

Me: What is ice kacing?

Malay Chefs: You want ice kacing?

Me: No, what is — wait, yes.

Malay Chefs: Ok pick, toppings [a clean bowl is handed to me]

[I look at the toppings and I stall because have no idea what is going on. Bowl is taken from me. One very nice Malay chef proceeds to place all six topping in my bowl while I figure out whether I am about to receive an entree or a dessert. Beans, corn (phew, definitely entree) green and black things (entree?) peanuts, Ginger (entree??). Bowl is now place under a machine. I consider ducking for cover but the Malay chefs appear brave and I’m pretty sure I’m on candid camera at this point. Crank turns. Poof, a mound of ice shavings fall on my toppings. (cold entree?)]

Malay Chefs: Syrup?

Me: [Oh no!] Yes?

Wrong answer but its too late, I am in their grasp. Two syrups and milk is applied (my poor beans!)

Ok, I get it, bean corn underneath, snow cone on top…

About to reach for my bowl back and find the nearest trash can…

Bowl swept to next station and handed to second Malay chef.

Malay Chefs: Ice cream?

Me: [*#%*^$&@] Terrific!

I’m offered six flavors the most normal of which I decide is mango.

Something about beans and mango makes me go queasy, so look for the most empty tub (praying I am following experts)

Me: “Pistachio please”

One scoop is applied and the result looks like this…

I pause, for a few seconds, but no one jumps out and says ha ha, got you, you silly American who we almost got to eat beans and corn with ice cream and snow cone mound! So I take a photo, thank the Malay chefs who are pleased with their work and take my plate to the table when Alex peaks up from her sushi and pad Thai plate to say, “you got dessert already?”

After a brief staring contest with my meal, I decide it would be wasteful not to try. Alex asks what it is so I tell her, “bean snow cone a la mode”

“Yummy” she says and digs in. I sit stunned… Complete shock. I wasn’t sure whether I should call ghostbusters, let alone what utensil to use and one of the pickiest eaters in the world starts devouring it like it’s tiramisu.

I join the party, but after a few healthy bites each and some melting we decide it’s best to quit while ahead.

Oh, for the record… It’s a dessert… I think.

After they kicked us out of Sarkies at 2:30, we toured the hotel lobby.

We then headed to the Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion. Its a case study in Feng shui, built by a successful entrepreneur. Very cool home.

After the tour we headed to our sweat box apartment, hit the pool, packed and round-tripped by bus back to Georgetown.

The second night we stayed at another but cheaper dead rich guys mansion turned budget hotel, which featured a bathroom where the toilet was also the shower stall. The concept conjured up ideas of multitasking, but this is a PG blog so I’ll stop there.

We spent a long time busing into Georgetown and hoofing it to our hotel with packs so we were again famished.

We searched and found another unique Penang food experience the guidebook called the “Louve” of Penang! On the outskirts of Georgetown is a food stall market called Gurney hawker stalls. There are about 100 independently operated food stalls with cheap local cuisine. We tried everything. An egg and fried oyster omelette called oh chien.

Laksa, a sweet and tangy and spicy dark seafood broth with noodles and veggies.

Rojak, a combo of sweet and savory with spicy which is a cold salad: cucumber jicima, pineapple, apple and squid (not a typo) with a spicy room temp viscous dark brown nutty sauce that is a combo between spicy mole, chocolate and molasses. (dessert or entree? I give up)

Sugar cane juice was both cold and refreshing.

Stomachs uncomfortably distended, we retreated to our hotel and slept well. The next morning we woke up late and booked a bus to Kuala Lumpur (KL), which took us first over the Strait to the mainland on a 13.5 km bridge and then headed South.

The ride length and road is the same distance and feel like a bus to NYC from DC, but instead of New Jersey views from I-95, on either side is the most gorgeous hilly rainforest terrain ever, which kinda looks like this.

Not a bad way to spend my 28th birthday, just busing from Penang to KL for a nice hotel and night out with Alex…

SCUBA

Today we did SCUBA for the first time ever. Hard to use the iPhone underwater while gagging saltwater, but we hit the proverbial mother-load. In addition to all the amazing fish and rehabilitating coral, we saw macro fauna like black tipped reef sharks, a hungry hawk’s bill sea turtle, a leopard shark and Alex’s fave, an octopus, which changed color while moving away from us.

Our Swedish guide, Anders, was very impressed with us, as we deftly completed all skills and both 1 hour dives with flying colors.

Sunset hike with newly purchased neon island attire to follow after a short nap.

A quick lesson on beach selection

Please match the photos below with the correct description provided.

Name: Monkey Beach
Accessibility: 250 bhat long tail boat taxi.
Peacefulness: not applicable
Notes: instead of stepping foot on this beach we quickly cut our losses and photographed others being stupid. Even this got old and we retreated quickly.

Name: Long Beach
Accessibility: 30 min gorgeous hike along the coastline through trees, cabins and footpaths with smoke piles to ward off mosquitos.
Peacefulness: absolute
Notes: we spent a day here promising only to leave after the first of our money, sun tan lotion or daylight ran out. Activities included snorkeling, cheap beer, lying in the sand, enjoying calm surf, and absorbing the pleasantness of not being on monkey beach.

Here endeth the lesson…

Beach Day!

Typical Beach Day

Step 1: Fly to Phuket, grab a taxi south. Ignore freak rainstorm that lasts 4 minutes. Check in to local hotel by Kata Beach on the Southwest part of the island. The hotel two apartments are run by Phil, the gregarious Aussie, four year resident of Phuket.

Step 2: After a quick change to beach attire, Phil drives you and the other two guests on a quick tour of the local beach community explaining which restaurants, bars, spas, and beaches are “rubbish” and which are good.

Step 3: Phil decides you want to feed elephants, so you do that.

Elephant feeding take 1

elephant feeding take 2

Step 4: Phil drives up a cliff at the southern end of Phuket for you to see this view from a local joint and enjoy coconut water and fruit shakes while he chats up the local bar maid and talks shop with the owner. It’s also at this point that he mentions two cobra sightings in four years. This weighs heavily on your mind.

Step 5: Taking you back, Phil convinces you the best way to get around is to rent a motorbike for the equivalent for 6 bucks a day. You rent the bike, take a cool photo and then test out your skills without your girlfriend on the back, with inevitable results. Right hand turns into oncoming traffic from downhill while keeping eyes peeled for death cobra is tricky. Wipeout ensues. While on the ground, a dog barks at you and several locals note your incompetence but offer no help. You note how easy it is to scrape yourself off the pavement given it’s searing temperature. Thankfully the bike restarts and isn’t too banged up as it was cushioned by your leg. You sigh with relief as you return to the bike shop realizing that you are only bleeding on the right side and therefore your girlfriend and more importantly shop owner cannot see the results of your test run. Your girlfriend hops on the back, you give a thumbs up to the shop owner and carefully steer the motorbike to a seafood restaurant Phil recommended, trying to calm the shattered remains of your nerves.

Step 6: The restaurant whips up the best shrimp, cooked two different ways you’ve ever had and halfway through the meal you stop bleeding and resume breathing.

Step 7: Confidence now back to minimal levels you ride to Kata beach, park, find two chairs and an umbrella for 200 bhat. Life is good.

Step 8: Acknowledge freak rain storm for 4 minutes, Resume sun bathing strolling beach, and playing in waves for 3 hours, the saltwater on your cuts a metaphorical reminder to embrace both the delightful and unpleasant on your journey.

Step 9: Apply beach cart Mai Thai liberally

Bangkok final day

So our final day in Bangkok was a whirlwind tour. We started late but by the end took three ferries (two correctly), rode the above ground tram three times stopping at many locations including the national museum (closed on mondays), more side streets and public parks and along the way. We saw both the main shop and house of Jim Thompson a man renown for re-introducing silk to Thailand, after arriving after WW2. He was a trained architect and a successful business man (after Thai silk was featured in Vogue and used for costumes in The King and I In 1951) so he created an outstanding home that consisted of six teak red houses set along a canal. We toured it while trying not to sweat on chinese porcelain. JT obviously then became a CIA agent and promptly disappeared in Malaysia, never to be heard from again. Thankfully his brand name Thai silk pillowcases are very easy to spot so it didn’t take us long to buy two (elephant and zebra themed, because, well… Why not?)

Exhausted from 11 hours in Bangkok on our feet we passed out only to wake up and take a 8:05 plane to Phuket, desperate and giddy for the beach.

This was the only photo we took on our phones, so once we get back we’ll add camera pictures to it. The one photo is Alex in her aforementioned lady gaga tank posing with random street art